Happy Mae: March 2008

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Hello family and freinds, this is the officaial first installment of what I hope to be a recurring update. Subjects will vary from likes to dislikes, important events, and my general impressions of babyhood.
As many of you know I celebrated six months on this planet last Saturday, December 8th. The day mattered little to me but the milestone delighted my parents immensely. Dad had to work but mom had the day off, and in honor of the occasion took me shopping with Uncle Sean. She bought me a book about an itsy-bitsy spider and some nifty socks. The book about the spider is a good read but it left me a bit confused. The spider in the story is charming and freindly and my parents speak warmly of him, but the spider in my bedroom the other night sent them both into a full-blown conniption. Mom shrieked and gathered me up protectively while dad set about hunting the thing with a paper-towel. He cursed repeatedly until he found the spider and squished the life from it. Apparently you can only trust spiders that have books written about them.
As for the socks mom purchased they too are very nice, they are brightly colored and striped and I long for the chance to taste them, but they're in the laundry.

Recently I started up on solid foods; my mom feeds me spoonfuls of apple and banana mush while I kick excitedly in my highchair. And this is great! Variety is the spice of life right? But just once I would like to be granted carte blanche to devour an article of my clothing. If such an opportunity was presented to me I would gobble up one of my new socks with utter abandon.
This brings me to my next point. Lacking the strength to fend my parents off from an object of my wanting is beyond vexing. One case in point occurred on the very Saturday marking my six months in the world. My parents brought a tree into the house. At first I was suspicious of the idea, but when they started to hang lights on the thing I became an instant fan. Who wouldn't be? Initially my parents included me in the fun. Cradled in their arms they proceeded to dangle extravagent objects in my face. Reflecting bulbs of red and green, small woven animals suspended by strings. I was going mad with desire, but every time I wrapped my fingers around one of these items it was yanked from my grasp and hung mockingly on the tree. Why must they be so cruel? I have asked them this question on numerous occasions but they've never offered an explanation. They only smile and make cooing noises. Parents!
Now that I seem to be ranting let's continue with the theme: Things My Parents Do To Annoy Me. My dad seems to think I enjoy hanging upside down and being swung back and forth like a pendulum. I have puked on him twice but the activity still continues. I am also praying he breaks down and buys himself some Chap Stick. Being kissed by the man is like having pummice stone scraped along your cheek.
Mom is great for the most part, a real trooper. She has taken up an intense dietary routine in an effort to regulate my bowels. Go Mom! However she does perform these bizzare rituals on me every morning and night. Once naked I am thoroughly rubbed down in some kind of oily goo; a strange solution is then shot up my nose, and then out comes the apparatus. This thing is plugged into my nostrils and made to suck out my insides. Although it doesn't really hurt the process can be very traumatic first thing in the morning.
All in All I'm enjoying life. My parents and my dear Aunt Daisy look after my every need. If I'm hungry I'm fed. If I'm cold I'm cuddled. It is great to be young and irresistable. I've been up to the mountains a few times and even caught a baseball game with my close friends. I'm finding I like sports quite a lot and I wish mom would let dad and I watch more Jazz games. Maybe she'll read this and consider my request. Well I better get moving; Elmo's World is about to start. I wish you all the best and until next time keep my adorable self foremost in your thoughts.